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Syndicate Biographies
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Chris was born somewhere in Asia, eventually made his way to Poway, CA and proceeded to do nothing for 22 years. |
| name: "Chris" |
occupation: retired |
| likes: Michelob ultra |
hobbies: sleep, mope around |
| hours institutionalized: 72 |
hometown: Poway, CA |
| role in the syndicate: to yell at Hogan |
inspirations: Lance Armstrong, Brian Botano, Bobby Flay |
| favorite movies: Gigli, Batman and Robin, Officer and a Gentleman. |
Most embarrassing moment: The day I lost the tv title to the Disco Inferno. |
| affiliates: The Syndicate, Hooligan Soccer Mob, CP, Flatulent Winds |
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Jon Hogan is a self proclaimed genius, and has been told he is a "free thinker". He was born and reared in the bliss of the poway bubble; in god's country: San Diego, ca. |
| name: Jon Hogan | |
| inspirations: Stanley Kubrick, Bruce Campbell, Hunter S. Thompson | hometown: born and raised in Poway |
| role in the syndicate: get yelled at by "Chris," act, maintain website. | favorite movies: Army of Darkness, boondock saints, A Clockwork Orange |
| affiliates: The Syndicate, Hooligan Soccer Mob, featured in CP ensemble | |
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Ken was born in Milwaukee, Wisconsin in '81. He moved to P-town in '89. Since then he's been in and out of prison for exposing himself to cockatoos; and joined the Syndicate. |
| name: Ken | alias: Caveman |
| Hotel rooms stained by human filth: 14 | hometown: Walla Walla, WA |
| likes: food, alcohol and sex | dislikes: not having food, alcohol and sex |
| favorite band: limp bizkit | goal in life: to become a semi-pro Mexican wrestler |
| hobbies: constant masturbation | inspiration: LL Cool J, Mario Lopez and Rambo |
| favorite show: Wings | favorite
movie: Dunston Checks In |
| sponsors:
The Syndicate, Victoria's Secret |
cup size: A well proportioned B cup |
| occupation:
To perform high leg kicks at various hair metal
concerts |
average
hairs per square inch: 42 |
| role in the Syndicate: To provide the aggressive Spanish and yodeling. |
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Cutler was born in Poway and moved once in the same town. After the war, i returned to study computer engineering and oppression of indigenous peoples at SDSU |
| Name: Nate | Inspirations: Allah, beckhams hair |
| Known Aliases: Cutler Johnsonov, Squirrel Master, Skanate, Big Cobra | Hometown: P-town what what, keeping it locked down in GR |
| Likes: Natural Ice lite, Olde English, Ny-Quill night time, Schlitz, Pabst, Hennesey | Occupation: Scabbin @ Vons, Lawn care technician |
| Hobbies: facial hair, steady mobbin, futbol, frog giggin, buying chris 40's of MGD | Dislikes: the red team, reloading |
| Role in the syndicate: Designated driver, bling coordinator, I provide the heat for props, and star in the B-side syndicate movies which most mortals will never see. | Affiliates: Fisher price rock band, The Syndicate, Hooligan soccer mob co-founder, aspiring CP groupie |
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Peter was born a poor black girl, but learned to overcome adversity and do what his heart told him to do: synchronized line dancing. peter was part of a line dancing team in the 80's, his team even made it to the championship. Unfortunately they lost, peter thrust his leg too briskly on a kick, and his ostrich skin cowboy boot flew off and blinded a judge; he vowed never to dance again. after his stint in dance, he moved to portland, oregon where he resides to this day. |
| name: Pete(R) | Hometown: Poway, CA. Westside! |
| occupation: freelance: screenwriter, photographer, graphic artist, motivational speaker | Role in the Syndicate: Holding the crew together in time of turmoil. Shoulder to cry on. |
| Likes: cats, adidas footwear, caffeine, Jon Hogan's daunting artistic representations of the human body (esp. hands) | Hobbies: completing a scientific theory of controlled cognizance of the unconscious mind |
| Most feared natural disaster: the flame(ing) tornado | Most feared unnatural disaster: zombies |
| Favorite movies: Robin Hood (Disney), Faster Pussycat, Kill, Kill, the Wu Tang Collection (specifically: Method Man) | Affiliates: the syndicate, syndicate north, HSM, (forthcoming HSM N), Miller High Life |
| Inspirations: All that is,I am inspired by life itself in progress, and Miller High Life. |
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The only somewhat trained thespian in the group, he offers his dry wit and serious delivery to the sketches. He is part of the notorious Schultz Clan, they are spread densely throughout southern California. They don't really do anything wrong, just drink a lot and get loud. |
| Name: Lucas Schultz | Role in the Syndicate: “I don’t know yet.” |
| Hometown: Poway | Alias: Melkweg |
| Likes: Espresso, Dixieland jazz, string cheese | Dislikes: SUV’s, yogurt burnt soap |
| Hobbies: shoe-glazing, stamp collecting, yoga | Inspirations:
your mom, Kevin Costner, the sun, food, music |
| Affiliates: HSM, The Syndicate | Favorite Movies: Homeward Bound, Jaws 3, Cube2 |
| Quote: “When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.” H.S.T. |
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A Bit About Scott: How I came to be... I was born somewhere and ended up here.. something like that. I'm more confused on how to spell somewhere, somewere some... damnit! The pinnacle of my life was seeing the best band ever: Morbid Angel, drunk as hell and almost broke my neck... good times. |
| Name: Scott Ellis | Affiliates: The Syndicate, CP Ensemble. |
| Occupation: Professional Tile Loader, Drummer for Warface. | Alias: Skeeter: Laziest Frickin Bastard on the Whole Earth. |
| Likes: Ultimate Cheeseburgers, Farts, Beer. | Dislikes: Waking up, Linkin Park |
| Hobbies: Drumming, Paintball, Doing nothing, Finding new ways to do nothing. | Inspirations: Double Western Bacon Cheeseburger, Death Metal, and of course snails (lazy). |
©2005 The Syndicate syndicatemovies.com